


heavy is the head

by finalizer



Series: immortal longings [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: (hux lowkey goes off the rails), (yikes), Angst, Emperor Hux, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-10
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:09:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finalizer/pseuds/finalizer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He feels it, the entire universe crumbling beneath his immaculate black gloves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	heavy is the head

**Author's Note:**

> this is self-indulgence, but credit for the entirety of the plot goes to [becca](https://twitter.com/carefulren) and [luc](http://archiveofourown.org/users/lucskywalks/), bless u for the wonderful suffering
> 
> title from Katy Perry's _Who Am I Living For_ , bc it fits:  
>  _"Heavy is the head that wears the crown,_  
>  _don't let the greatness get you down."_

The crown lies atop the Emperor’s head, glimmering intricacies of gold and silver. It isn’t heavy in the slightest, but Ren can see it weighs him down all the same.

/

With Snoke dead and forgotten, there isn’t much to stop the galaxy from catering to the Emperor’s every whim, in fear of a much worse fate.

Legions fall to their knees, hands over hearts; thousands salute in unison. There isn’t the smallest inkling of doubt that it stems from respect, that the Emperor had certainly worked his way up to his position with no small effort. But underneath bubbles the fear, the creeping awareness of the mangled bodies and oceans of blood he’d walked over to get there.

/

Ren plays his part well, the jewel in the crown, the Knight, the protector, the lover; devotes every breathing moment to preventing any harm from coming to his Emperor, all while turning a blind eye to the harm that the Emperor inflicts upon the galaxy. But it’s there, he feels it, the universe crumbling beneath the immaculate black gloves.

/

And it descends into chaos, a chaos the Emperor calls _order_.

He sends his Knight away to resolve troublesome matters as quietly as possible, the searing blade of his saber slicing through flesh and silencing opposition.

The numbers grow, the Knight grows weary of swinging the weapon, grows weary of the Emperor’s urgent insistency.

“They’re a threat,” he says, high on his own conviction, “they mean to cause me harm, Ren. You can’t let that happen, can you? You promised me you wouldn’t ever let that happen.”

Panic laces his voice, and Ren indulges him again.

/

The Emperor looks tired; skin deathly pale in its near translucency, two hollow rings encompassing his eyes.

There’s too much to be done, so much work in dragging the world to a kneel at his feet.

/

He bites into Ren’s neck, presses bruises into his back, his thighs. He shoves Ren onto the mattress, tangles his hands in Ren’s hair hard enough to sting, and taunts him for being too weak to take it.

He gives orders, and Ren obeys. He hurts him, but Ren stays silent.

/

The Emperor loses his temper as his Knight stands before the dais, looming slabs of the black marble throne casting shadows over the room. His eyes are nearly black from fury. Ren catches himself wondering if those are still Hux’s eyes.

 _I failed. He’s angry because I failed, that’s all. I will try again. I_ _will —_

He flinches as the Emperor takes a rough step forward, arm raised as if to strike. He stops himself and fixes Ren with a curious stare.

“Don’t tell me you fear me, Ren?”

Ren meets his eyes. Not Hux’s, the Emperor’s.

“I don’t fear you,” he says. “I fear for you.”

/

There’s so many worlds to be conquered, so many to be burnt and eliminated should they oppose the Emperor’s regime — there’s so much _red_.

There’s so many, _too many_ , people whose blood the Knight has to watch pooling around them like a wretched halo. He knows he doesn’t have to watch, doesn’t have to snuff out life after life like candles before bedtime. But his Emperor is asking him to. If only it were Hux instead.

/

The Emperor has his weapon rebuilt, on another remote planet: bigger, stronger, the apocalypse incarnate. He does not hide the process from prying eyes. He wants to see the galaxy cower, wants to hear the screams.

/

“This is ours. All of it,” he whispers to Ren, head on his chest, fingers in his hair. “We’re so close. The whole world, Ren, ours for the taking.”

It isn’t Hux speaking; it’s the festering darkness inside him, the marred blue of his eyes, the monster Ren had created when he’d given Hux Snoke’s mantle.

Ren knows what he needs to do. He can’t.

/

The Emperor revels in glory, the shimmering gold and glistening blood beneath his boots.

He doesn’t see the Order making more enemies than it has allies. He doesn’t see the target painted on his back. He sees immortality.

/

There’s flashes of lucidity. Second-long intervals between madness and bloodlust where Hux’s eyes are his own, his mind clear, his touch gentle; and Ren hopeful.

They never last.

Then, they disappear altogether.

/

The Emperor hits him, he stumbles back. The Emperor kisses the blossoming bruise, white skin marred with sick purple hue, and mutters how sorry he is. Ren closes his eyes and allows it. The Emperor never remembers his outbursts, always crafts an excuse for his actions.

Ren knows what he needs to do. He’s afraid to do it.

/

“They won’t stop,” the Emperor says, words stumbling past his lips in a medley of chaotic thoughts. “They could stop the bloodshed, they could accede and spare their people. But they won’t stop, they won’t stop fighting.”

Ren watches as the Emperor makes up his mind. Another feat of destruction, turning the weapon against the Resistance. Something he can’t allow to happen.

“No,” he whispers. He’s already let it get too far.

/

The Emperor stops his infernal pacing and spins to face his Knight. His hand hovers over the blaster clipped to his belt, jet black against the brilliant white of his uniform.

“What did you say?”

Ren wavers, the tremble slips into his voice. “I said, no. I won’t let you do it.”

/

There’s a flash of unbridled rage, an inhuman fury in the Emperor’s eyes; no trace of emotion save for the unrestrained compulsion to destroy every hint of defiance. He pulls out his gun.

Ren knows what he needs to do.

/

The Emperor can only stare at the glow of the blade through his chest, the deafening hum of the weapon thrumming through the air _. His Knight_  —

/

Ren powers down the saber with shaking hands and the Emperor lets out a pained gasp in surprise. The bloodstain grows: red, so much red.

His hands flutter to Ren’s chest, suddenly unable to keep himself upright, knees giving out underneath him. Ren grips the Emperor’s shoulders and lowers them both to the ground.

The blaster falls, unfired. Ren had been faster.

/

The Emperor looks up at him, his breath growing erratic with panic, with disbelief. He can’t find the strength to speak, his lungs ache.

“Ren — ”

/

Ren forces himself to meet the Emperor’s eyes, and finds Hux’s instead; ice blue and glazed over in pain. Ren stares back, jarred, futilely wondering if he could have made a different choice, if there was a different choice to make, but the blood spreads fast, coating Ren’s hands, and Hux’s grip on his robes loosens. Ren’s heart lurches to his throat, _it’s too late_.

Ren knows he did what he needed to be done.

/

He doesn’t realize the litany of, “ _No_ — no, no,” falling from his own lips until Hux interrupts. He’s struggling to breathe, lips stained red. _There’s too much red_.

“Ren — ” It’s a broken sound, his pleading, and Ren feels his tears paint streams down his face. “ — I’m sorry, Ren, I’m so sorry.”

/

Hux gasps for air, his body doesn’t comply. His eyes drift shut and he falls against Ren’s chest. His heartbeat stops and Ren feels it like a tear in the universe.

/

The last flash of lucidity lasts a second, and then it’s over. The last glimpse of his general lasts an eternity, longings of immortality fulfilled.


End file.
